There is something that has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind (and heart) lately and since Evolving Mommy was started as a place for me to grow and change and learn I am hopping that sharing this will help me move forward.

I have been feeling a little bit weak, irresponsible and hypocritical lately. Actually I think these feelings have been there for a while I was just ignoring them.

Life is full of struggles right? Well I feel like I have not been handling one of my points of struggle very well. Actually one point in particular. I am sure that I am not alone in saying that there are people in my life that I struggle with. The trouble is that I have found myself criticizing a person in my life and in the process I have been behaving in some of the same ways that I found so appalling in them.

At first I didn’t notice I was acting this way. It is such an easy and slippery slope to begin making judgements about another person and before I knew it I had sunk to their level. Even worse I find myself opening my mouth and saying things that need not be said and then regretting it later.

I am so disappointed by my behavior. Even worse is that I am having trouble truly correcting myself. In this situation I know that I have the power to make things easier on myself by changing the way I think about and react to the person. I truly want to make the necessary changes in my thought process to make things right but I am struggling.

I just don’t want to be that person who makes judgments whether they are justified or not about other people. I don’t want to be constantly suspicious about ulterior motives. I don’t want to speak before I think (this may be the hardest one because I often times find myself talking before I have thought about what I am saying.) And most importantly I don’t want to speak badly of other people.

I guess the only way to fix it is to keep working on it.