I guess it hasn't really been a debate but more a conversation about toys in relation to gender. I think toys have been on my mind so much because of Monkey's impending second birthday. We spent part of our morning in Toys 'R Us playing with toys all over the store and I walked away wondering if toys companies or parents are responsible for the ridiculousness filling the toys store isles.
Why does a tricycle need to be pink and purple? Why are trucks and cars meant for boys and doll strollers and play kitchens for girls? Why in the world would there need to be a pink child sized Hummer, or I guess I child sized Hummer at all?
I previously asked if toys should be gender specific but I failed to even think about toys that in theory are not gender specific yet are made to be by toy manufactures, for apparently no reason. Thanks to Em for pointing that out to me and thanks to Toys 'R Us and Target for reminding me this morning. Also thank you to all of you who participated on the conversation, I really do love hearing your thoughts even when they do not coincide with my own.
Yes I have a daughter but I would love for her to grow up surrounded by the full rainbow of colors, not just the 2 that have been deemed "girl" colors. I would also like her to experience whatever interests her not just fake plastic make-up, cheerleader and princess outfits, and purses. (Admittedly I love purses but I can also throw a ball, drive a car or truck, and use a hammer, all things that are marketed to boys.)
What is the deal with toy kitchens, shopping carts, miniature ironing boards, and baby dolls? There is not anything wrong with these toys in theory but can someone please tell me why they are all located in the "girls" section of the store? I might do all of the grocery shopping but Luke is also there with us every week, and yes I do cook our meals but that is because I enjoy it, I do know several men that do the majority of their households cooking. Or how about Bats, balls, trains, and cars? Why are these toys located in the "boys" section of the store. Or even better why on Earth are there "boy" sections and "girl" sections at all. It drives me crazy that toys are only marketed to one gender or the other when they should be marketed to both.
Am I making too big a deal out of this? Maybe this all comes back to my strong belief that as a mother it is not my job to tell my daughter who she is and what she should be but to listen to her when she tells me who she is and what she will be.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
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no you are not making too big a deal out of this at ALL. i don't know where you even begin to change this in society other than one family at a time.
Nope - I think all parents face this question sooner or later. It smacked me in the face when my Oldest wanted to know where the blue lawn mowers were - wth? Honey, lawn mowers aren't blue - you've seen ours, ours is green.
But mama, there's a PINK one!?!
Honest to goodness conversation I had with my son. (thanks for the linky love :-)
I figure the more time I spend away from Toys R Us, the better, in so many ways - but I'm pretty sure it comes down to making money. If I had a son and then a daughter (or other way around) why can't I just hand down the WHITE Fisher Price plane?!
I say expose them to whatever, and see what sticks. Both my boys love to "iron" with me with a wooden iron I had as a little girl. The same one my older brother played with before I came along.
I suppose there is something innate that perhaps sometimes urges different genders to seek different types of toys/activities/interests. I mean, males and females are different, and I think in ways more complex than genitalia - however, technically I think the genitalia part is pretty complex.
Anyway, you and I may know how to hammer a nail or throw a ball (I can't do that so well), but we don't choose to do that all of the time. I choose to organize my home, do the housework, cook, and stay at home with my daughter because I absolutely love it. Technically, I am doing the "woman's work" and although it is because I want to, why exactly do I want to? I don't feel it was because I was taught this is my ROLE in life. Quite the opposite, an all girls school doesn't teach you to stay at home and raise kids!! Also, growing up, my mom worked and stayed at home, so I saw both. But I stay at home because 1) I am lucky that we can financially work it out and 2) because I like it. Do I like it simply because I don't have a Y chromosome? Maybe gender does have something to do with my role. I have a couple of degrees and ignore the social pressure. If I wanted to be a career woman, I could be. I don't want to...something inside of me tells me to be the nurturer and homemaker.
So, maybe there is something to this gender profiling. Which came first the chicken (gender specific toys/societal pressure for specific genders to engage in specific tasks/activities) or the egg (specific genders tending to choose specific tasks/activities)?
And one last thought..
while pregnant, we decorated the baby's room in brown and white/cream, with a little green. When the baby arrived, we planned to either add pink or blue - yes, very stereotypical. But once her room was pink and brown and green and up to my OCD standards, sticking a big red, orange, and purple toy in it really bothered my brain. Thus, the pink stacking rings, for example, has gone perfectly with her decor. It blends in so nicely =) Perhaps I am ruining my child and all of society for that matter, for buying into the classic toys turned pink.
P.S. Toys R Us has a lot of crap.
P.P.S Just because I am arguing the gender specific side doesn't mean I fully feel that way. Nor do I think that even if most lean towards certain interests as a result of their sex, that we should require that as the norm
Follow up comment: Goodness that was long. Oops.
Shea, you make a good point in your epic comment. I also choose to do the typically female things a lot of the time too. I just worry about type casting Monkey into a role before she has had the chance to make her own choice.
Your baby's room is very nicely coordinated but I also happen to know that you have other colorful toys at her disposal as well.
Oh, and yes I generally try to avoid Toys R Us because it is full of crap but decided to check out the tricycles and was taken back to see pink and purple trikes for girls and green and blue for boys...whatever happened to red?
I dont think you are making a big deal out of nothing. I am getting Little One a kitchen for his birthday, he loves pretend eating and cooking and I couldn't care less if others think it is just a girl thing.
I noticed last time I was at my friends house who has a girl and a house full of girls things that she had some trucks. I guess she got the picture when her daughter came over and played and played with little ones cars and trucks. Little One will have doll strollers, cars, kitchens, trains and anything that he enjoys playing with.
It IS tricky stuff, you're not making a big deal. Miles and Asher have friends that are girls and when we go to their house, they run straight to the pink toy kitchen. It's like they've been deprived of something. We just don't happen to have a lil kitchen for them, and I think that's largely because there isn't much marketed to boys in that area. Sad, but true.
that is a hard one...on the one hand...I know I don't want my son to be set in what he's supposed to like....but on the other...if he's playing with a pink hammer...I don't want others to think I'm making him a priss...then I'm like...why do I care what others think anyway?....I think with boys though it's easier...boys want to be well boyish...with reds and blues...browns....greens....I don't know...maybe it would be hard for me to take Pooh seriously if he's hitting the dog with a pink hammer instead of a blue?....
Please dont get me started on the WHOLE toy debate.
I remember my son played with a tool kit, doctors set and hairdresser set. He loved to dress up as a cowboy, batman or in his chinese dress. He had an enormous collection of soft toys and he has grown in to a well rounded young man. My daughter likes to play with her brothers car collection, would love to inherit his thomas collection and nurtures her babies like a mama should. I am sure she will turn in to a well rounded young woman.
Random thoughts: throw away the TV set it brain washes the kids with stereo typing and toy ads. Limit trips to the toy store, go to thrift and goodwill instead then when they get home and dont play with the prized toy ever agin you dopnt mind so much as it only cost you a $1. I hate the kitchen /store sets that are branded i.e the McDonalds one. Dont worry what anyone else thinks, if your boys have a feminine side giving them guns and trucks isnt going to surpress it and if your daughter wants to play football and race cars then thats great too.
See what you started Catherine.
I am with you! I have a son and a daughter, and I've seen each one play with the others toys at times, and I LIKE that!
I love that my daughter enjoys playing with trucks, and begging her older brother to play baseball with him and his friends! And when my son was younger, he was surrounded by girls, ALL girls in my family, so he was stuck playing house with my youngest sis, but he enjoyed that.
Even now, at 10, I will still catch him playing with my sis and my daughter, but now he HAS to be the dad, he refuses to be the family pet, or a neighbor, lol!
I too, love a nice purse or a great pair of shoes, but I also love a good hockey fight and I'm all for "trying" to do my own handywork around the house! : )
I have both and they will be allowed to play with whatever they want! Evan can play with Isabella's dolls and she will play with his cars and trucks! I dont see anything wrong with it!
I know this isn't exactly related: http://mothering.com/little-princess
But I just read this article and thought about this post. You may have already read it. It made me think a little bit.
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